but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
