I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
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The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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