so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
