if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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