At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
