I want to make a zoo with you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
