In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
