everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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