I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
