Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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