Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
