if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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