omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
