I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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