Buhtt sex?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize