I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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