well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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