'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
