I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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