there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
