i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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