I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My liver just had a heart attack.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
