Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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