You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
BRING THE BAGELS
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
