omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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