Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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