he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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