I am in a vortex of obligation.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
