The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
