Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
