I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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