I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize