He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
try to milk me bitch
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