Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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