Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
