just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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