By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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