Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
