I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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