I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
