im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
