Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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