Don't you send me to vm
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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