he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize