I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
