She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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