Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just pee around me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
