mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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