bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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