I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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