If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There r osticjed everywhere
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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