I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
