I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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