How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
