Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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