I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
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Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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