I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
