He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
