i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize