It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
