I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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