So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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