We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
