Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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