I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
