come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
