Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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