what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
