Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
