Dual....:-)
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
