now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You pole danced in your parka.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
