drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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