So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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